Admit it!

When he hits that high note, you hit it with him!

Happy Birthday

Richard.

You don’t know me but you are an inspiration to me and I simply appreciate the air you breath. Thank you so much for your generosity and your humbleness and your talent and just everything you are. I hope your day has been lovely and I wish you many, many more.

50 is not so bad. Trust me.

Because

sometimes pictures tell a story…

I remember the curtains were white with green leaves. Big green leaves.

He was trying to climb up on the ottoman where I was sitting. There wasn’t really a lot of room and I didn’t want to share with him, so I totally smacked at his fingers. (he also pestered the hell out of me. Somewhere around this same time, there is a picture of him standing in his crib, bottle in one hand and my hair in his other.)

There isn’t anything in the floor in the second one. The picture itself is damaged.

Mom TOTALLY stole his make-believe cry-fest.

He knew Mom stole his cry-fest.

Promoted to Glory

Salvationists – those who attend services at the Salvation Army – have a wonderful way of saying someone has died.

Promoted to Glory.

Sounds pretty awesome. A promotion – the biggest and best of promotions. In a sense, it sort of softens the blow.

A year ago today, I was hospitalized with Covid. As you recall, it was bad. Mom was in the throes of Alzhiemers – still undiagnosed, but we knew. She would call me daily, every time she had a lucid moment. “Honey, are you sick? Are you in the hospital? I’m flying down, right now! I’m going to take care of you. I don’t care if they won’t let me in. They can’t stop me!”

Dad would take her for a drive and she’d forget.

Early this morning, my mother was promoted to glory. I saw her a week ago – funny, she’d forget all of us, except my son. She ALWAYS knew my son. I’m a bit numb right now, but grieving is right where I can touch it. Spawn and I will leave early in the morning to head home to plan and arrange. Discuss future care of my father who DOESN”T have memory loss issues. I can’t imagine – he and mom were married 60 years and together 62. They were kids when they got married – Dad had just turned 20 and Mom wasn’t yet 18.

I spent the summer at mom and dad’s, cleaning out the house. We found her wedding dress, veil, and shoes. I contacted the Historical Society in the town they married in and they are excited to display the dress.

Right after we moved mom and dad into the assisted living facility, oh I guess about 4 weeks ago, I was hanging pictures of her grandkids on the wall. She was sitting behind me and she called me by name.

Yes ma’am? I didn’t turn around, just kept hammering.

Again, she called me – by my FULL name – and tapped me hard in my back.

Yes ma’am? I turned around and came off the step ladder.

Her eyes were clear, lucid. And she rather forcefully – I love you.

I love you too, Mom.

She then took a step back – You’ve lost weight! You look GOOD!

And as I was preening and thanking her (because no one else in my family had noticed) the cloud went back over her eyes. And that was the last lucid moment I had with my mom.

My body is exhausted. I made 5 trips into the interior this summer – the longest 2 weeks, the shortest 3 days. I’ve moved 8 carloads and a 15 foot truck of ‘memoralbilia’ – all the pictures, slides, 8MM movies…

Christmas.

I honestly thought I would put mom’s Christmas up and video – Look Mom! There’s your trees and ornaments. They’re so pretty.

Now, I’ll put them up and cry.

This week, we lost Fedoralady, I found out yesterday we also lost Lady T. There are those who will say, I lost my mom. I didn’t lose her – I know EXACTLY she’s at! I know she wouldn’t want to linger and she wouldn’t want to be in the state she’s been in the last 18 months.

I say this often – tell the people you love, you love them. Don’t let stupid shit, like politics or religious differences or any of that get between you and them or you and friends. Savor your relationships. God made us all different for a reason.

I will be busy for the next 7 days. Love each other. No fighting. I’ll kick your butts.

Sometimes you wake up

And discover you’re missing something you didn’t know you had.

I live in a bubble.

Yesterday, I was informed that Angie- Fedoralady – passed away very suddenly.

I didn’t know Angie. It seems she was moving on about the time I entered the scene. Her name was familiar (similar to someone I occasionally cross paths with in another fandom) so I went on a hunt, finding myself somewhere completely different than I anticipated, but still I found her, saw why her name was so familiar.

The last 24 hours, my WordPress, my facebook, has been filled to the brim with much sadness, condolences to family and friend. Fedoralady was a writer and had a much beloved blog – The Armitage Effect. And now that it’s too late, I think maybe I would like her because she loved someone I love very much.

I should be satisfied that her blog and her many writings are still available. I found her at Dreamerfiction, so when my life quietens down in the next few weeks, I’ll head that way. I say I should be… but it’s not the same.

I’m sorry I missed you, Angie. Much love and condolences to your family and friends.

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