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Monthly Archives: August 2020

Guy Day!!!

28 Friday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

I We made it to the end of another week. I honestly didn’t think I would make. I’ve struggled with sleep all week. Wednesday night, I got absolutely zero sleep. Was up all night and for some reason, unable to nap during the day. This put me up for nearly 48 hours. Not good for someone trying to get well. In addition, I had several seriously bad coughing jgs. My mom had a lucid moment and called in the middle of one and she just cried and cried and cried.

So last night, I bit the bullet. I did inhaler, nasal spray (the 2 quieten things down) cough syrup with narcotics, and then a sleeping pill.

I slept like the dead for 9 hours. did not get up at all. Not even to pee! It was sooooo needed!

Spawn’s Covid test came back negative. Waiting on mine. I still have a ways to go if it is negative.

I’ve also had a serious issue with ankle and foot swelling. Today, they look much better but they’ve been elevated for 2 days!

Someday, I’ll get well.

But right now, I need some Sir Guy. I’ll bet you do too!

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Weekend Delight
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Thar ya go.

Know what? I think I”m going to take a nap. Our HelloFresh box is in and I’m going to let Spawn decide what’s for dinner!!!!

Fan Fic Asks – because no one ever asks!

27 Thursday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

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1. who is the hardest character for you to write?  These days I think it’s Severus Snape.

 

2. who is the easiest character for you to write? These days – no doubt about it – Reaper.

 

I’ll bet your wondering – what the hell Zee? But I’ve pulled 2 old old fics out of the wood chipper before anymore damage could be done and they a) a LOTR/HP cross over and a Doom fic. And Reaper’s voice just jumped up!

3. How do you know if your writing is “in character”? I have to hear their voice in my head. I don’t mean repeat of movie or series, they need to be talking to me in their voice. Also, someone familiar with the series or movie tends to read it before I even send it to the beta! 

4. Where do your story ideas come from? Numerous places. Music, pictures, drugs, conversations. I had a Rohirrim series (His, Mine, Ours, Hers, Us, and Theirs) that evolved out of a conversation on a Yahoo Group – What if Eomer had someone he loved before the war? Several fics came out of it from the group. I decided to do a first person POV simply as a study – not post it. I sent it to 3 friends when I finished it all all three came back – you better post this. Who am I to argue? 

5. Do you tell the people in your life that you write fics? No

 

6. What has been the hardest fic for you to write? Probably that nasty little crossover I’ve pulled out of the mothballs!  So many voices.

 

7. What fic of yours makes you the most emotional? His. I cried through the last 2 or 3 chapters writing it and I still cry when I reread it.

 

8. What is a scene you wrote that you are most proud of? There is a scene from my Cross over from hell.

Severus sighed in resignation. He stared into the crackling warmth of the fire and held her closer. “If he is employing dark magic, he very well might.”

Bronwyn spun in anger, her face contorted in fury. “He killed Haldir! He haunts my very footsteps, my dreams. If what Elrond’s sons say is true – and I have no reason to doubt them – he has successfully been maneuvering my bow into his own possession for close to twenty years. You should damn well know he is using Dark Magic! The question is,” she gritted between clenched teeth, “is the one Wizard I know that is versed in the Dark Arts willing to use them in order to stop him?”

“Bronwyn,” it was hissed, the glow of the fire casting an eerie light on the Wizard’s face, “You know not what you ask.”

“I know exactly what I ask.”

“No,” it was velvet, soft, caressing to the ear. Severus pulled her to him, his lips gently brushing the rim of flesh. An observer would think they had interrupted an intimate moment. “You do not know what you ask. The Dark calls, beckons, its power, seductive. It sucks you in, body, your soul. You do not mind falling into the abyss as once you step from the edge, there is no return, only the welcoming cold of evil. It lies to you, Bronwyn. You feel warmth, heat, power, yet you are left bereft, alone; and when you hit the rocky bottom, you do not see it coming. The end is swift, violent, and no one recognizes the dregs of humanity you have become. It is worse than death, oh Fiery One, and one does not lightly walk away from it.”

She cowered in his arms, listening, absorbing every word. “You walked away before-“

“Aye, I did. At great cost to me.” 

 

9. Is there one character that you refuse to write? why?  No. If I ‘hear’ their voice speaking to me, I write them.

 

10. When you write fics, how much of canon are you willing to ignore/skip over? For some odd reason, I will twist for Tolkien. He walked all over his ‘laws’ all the time, so I don’t have much problem either, although I will try hard to stick to canon (An example would be that Tolkien never mentions a wife for Thorin. He was not married at the time he took his group to Erebor. I twisted things to give him a wife in Loving Gin. I didn’t abandon/skip/ignore canon, I just wrote in between the lines, so to speak.

 

11. Do you prefer to be cold or hot when you write? Neither. I’m like Goldilocks; I like things just right!

 

12. What is your ideal writing area? Somewhere where no one will bother me.

 

13. How do you come up with your titles? Honestly, I don’t know!

 

14. How do you come up with chapter titles? Usually, they are song lyrics, or something that goes along with the chapter. Sometimes, I just number them.

 

15. At what point in writing a fic, do you decide to quit? Never. You finish a fic, no matter what. Yes, I’ve allowed a fic to linger for a while. Sometimes, the muses go to the beach. In Rider of the Mark, the muses went to the beach for 5 years. I picked it back up after I had written Love! Rohirrim Style and finished it (because it came before) and the biggest issue I had was to make sure where I picked it back up was seamless.

I know people will abandon a fic when they become interested in something else – or they aren’t getting enough feedback or what not. Nothing pisses me off more than to start reading a fic and then getting to drop off and you realize it’s been abandoned. That just unfair to the reader.

 

16. How much of your personal life do you put into fics? A little. A lot. In my first fic, I wrote about my main characters trying to get their three children in bed and asleep on Christmas so Santa Claus could come. They were having NONE of it and a friend of theirs actually got on the roof in the snow with bells. This was based on a true story in my home. I was 7 and I had 2 younger siblings, the youngest being 14 months old. We lived outside of Washington DC and it was snowing cold. It was midnight, we were excited awake still and my dad took the kettle bells out on the porch and was ringing them and mom was telling us – you gotta go to bed! We were too excited and my dad was whispering – Jane! Can I come in? It’s cold out here!!!! In The Shepherd, when Guy is taking Genevieve to the hospital and the over chatty nurse comes out with wheelchair, THAT was based on moi’s experience with the pending birth of Spawn!

 

17. What is the most supportive comment you have gotten? Someone reviewed Manna from Heaven. I didn’t see it for a while and I think someone sent me a link. It was on Tumblr.

100% the best Guy Of Gisborne fanfiction I’ve read so far. Grisly and gorgeous with vivid language and beautiful descriptions. Full of fantastic historical accuracies as well as legitimate biblical references. Well thought out and realistic in the manners of the heart, Manna From Heaven is a story about a woman lost in a time that is not her own, with a man who is lost in the matters of his own heart. Beyond sexy and fascinating, this fanfic is an absolute must read, and to die for.

 

18. What is the most negative comment you have gotten? You know I’ve been flamed at some of the biggest flamer sites ever. Ugly shit. Shocking it’s so ugly. I had one woman chase me all over creation to let me know how awful a writer she thought I was. Then she changed her mind when I wrote Rider and tried to make nice. I didn’t buy it a bit.

And then there was the guy on ffnet who simply flamed people. His bio read that he had other bios so if we did complain and he was deleted, well he had more. Also, if you respond to my ‘critique’ I will go through your favorite and flame them as well. He went after Rider, which was one of the most positively reviewed fic I had. I had like 15 chapters up and his review (which started, so you fucking think you can write…) and it was the first chapter. So I knew he was just going to the newly published list.

I had some numbnut decide that people in Middle Earth didn’t run around having sex, so she flamed ‘His’. She through Eomer was a ‘cad’ Wudurose was a whore and I needed to stop this right now. We had many words. By the third round, she asked me to at uprate the fic to NC17 because she had that filtered and it wouldn’t show up in the new arrivals feed. I told her to go fuck herself. The fic was teen and no way was I going to rate it adult! At that point, seeing how she was getting NO support on the review board, she created a sockpuppet and supported and applauded herself. My response to her was extremely unkind.

The most recent flame was also for Rider. Basically, A little over a year after I finished it, someone decided to go through and critique it chapter by chapter. And by critique, I mean tear it apart. What this successfully did push the huge number of great reviews down and her bad reviews on top. I said nothing for 14 chapters until she posted – My God this is such a train wreck. You want to look away, but you can’t! I PM’d her and told her where the x button was at. It had been finished for over a year, With the exception of the professional flamer, I’d not had a bad review for it anywhere and I didn’t appreciate her squashing down the great reviews. Someone new would come along and see her whining and move on. At that point, I was accused of wanting smoke blown up my ass…

 

19. How do you handle negative comments? As time has gone on, I ignore them. After being flamed at deletrius and gawd awful fan fiction, I’ve developed a pretty thick skin. Not everyone is going to love my stuff. Most of them just move on. Some people though, just have to tell you about it.

 

20. What story that you have written makes you the happiest to re-read? Manna from Heaven and Love! Rohirrim Style.

You’re welcome!

25 Tuesday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

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They say this is bts from Space Sweepers, Richard’s new movie.

Baby Steps

25 Tuesday Aug 2020

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Yesterday I accomplished 2 goals. I put away clean jammies (all the blood came out!) and put all my dirty clothes in the hamper. This doesn’t sound like much, but it was a major step for me.

Today, I’m in clothes. Underclothes, bra… shorts and a a pretty swing top (of course) and I feel closer to human.

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ManCandy Monday

24 Monday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

I am back to having issues with sleeping again – as in, I’m not. I sleep and hour, up two or three… it’s killing me.

Last night, however, I went down around 11 and didn’t FULLY get up until 7:30. I was up twice – both potty and the 2nd time, I was awake for 45 minutes before I went back to sleep. And I’m getting ready to go down for a nap again.

The fatigue is killing me. it’s what’s slowing healing down. I get bad bad coughs at night and I have stuff to fight that. I’m back on my meds routine, blood sugar is slowly coming down.

But I’m worn out.

how about some ManCandy?

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Ya’ll have a good one!

Happy Birthday Richard

22 Saturday Aug 2020

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I hope your day has been wonderful surrounded by family and friends or skiing down a slope. Whatever you like.

It’s Guy Day!

21 Friday Aug 2020

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≈ 5 Comments

And how are we all?

Last night, I slept 10 hours – without the narcotic cough syrup or any sleeping aids. Do you know how GOOD I feel right now?

Okay, I don’t feel really good. But I feel better. I’m not a million bucks, maybe a 2 dollar bill… but still…

You want to know what’s scary? Yesterday afternoon, my insurance company called me and said – Ms Z? uhm… we just got all the stuff from the hospital and… well, we were concerned…

And then I get the whole how are you doing, how are you feeling, do you know how sick you wer/are and when you’re feeling better, we REALLY want to talk to you about programs at no cost to you to help you with your diabetes and asthma. I mean… you’re not young…

Thanks. Thanks a fucking whole lot telling me I’m old!

Last night, Spawn made a pot of minestrone soup. I could sorta taste it and it was so good. I was afraid I would turn into a chicken for a while! There are left overs and I know what I’m having for lunch!!!

I FINALLY got that wad of compress bandaging off my hoo ha. It took hours. a little at a time. Lots of witch hazel.

Manicure scissors to trim as I went. That was scary. Sharp pointy object near a sensitive place I couldn’t see. I understand now why many women shave it all.

I know. TMI.

We found the Meyer’s box outside the door yesterday. Spawn and I had a great time unpacking it to see the goodies! All the sage stuff went to his bathroom. I told him he can smell like sage. I like smelling like Fuji Sunset! But there are lots of other goodies in that box!!!

Sometime today – we shall get HELLO FRESH!!!!! I’m excited about that too!

After running many errands yesterday, today will be the day he does laundry! Must. I”m getting ready to pre-saturate bloody clothes. Pray it comes out. Regardless I’m going to have to wear them. 4 new pairs of PJs. Can’t just toss.

Yeah – a (male) nurse TRIED to toss them. I screamed as best I could as did the OTHER nurse.

My feet are swelling. I think we’ll have to make the move to the comfy chair and ottoman post haste!

And before I go any further – I want to congratulate Guylty on another FABULOUS RA Birthday Fund Raiser!!! WHOOOT!

So now, it’s time for some GuyDay!!! Y’all don’t know how much I look forward to this! 2 weeks ago I though I had done my last GuyDay!  So glad I hadn’t.

Weekend Delight
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There ya go. Ya’ll have a good weekend.

Is this moving forward?

20 Thursday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

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Yesterday, Spawn propped me up in bed, piled with pillows and both feet propped up. They have been SO swollen that I couldn’t get socks on. Felt Like ice. I had meds that had to be filled, so after I took a shower, he propped me up, made sure I had plenty of water within reach and took off to parts unknown – a 3 hour tour, no less.

He returned with food and my meds. I’m getting back on my NORMAL diabetes meds, shit load of Vitamin C and Zinc and my normal vitamins. There was heavily laden cough syrup and sleeping pills as well as meds for my yeast infection . I went straight to the cough syrup after dinner and went to sleep for 10 hours.

With my feet propped up!

Feet are still swollen today, but I can get socks on without cutting off the circulation.

Just spent half an hour on the phone with my insurance company. They are putting me on several additional programs at no additional cost to help with things. She said looking at everything they’ve gotten from the hospital was… concerning.

Do you have any clue how sick you were?

Yeah, I think I do. Right now, talking is exhausting me.

That’s the worst part – the constant fatigue. I don’t even want to read, it’s that bad. I don’t want to do things I lik

My sister, God love her, sent Spawn and myself 3 meals from Hello Fresh!!! I’m so super excited! So is he.

Taste buds are still MIA! I can taste Doctor Pepper. I can also taste the zingy sauce for the onion rings – not the onion rings, just the zingy sauce.

Burned my flippin’ mouth!

Mah butt hurts from sitting on it.

I’m peeing a blue streak. All the water.

Pray for Spawn. Within the hour, he leaves to do 2 loads of laundry. Jammies and bloody jammies. I’m sending lots and lots of hydrogen peroxide!!! I can take PJs off my wish list. Over the course of this mess, Spawn bought me 4 pairs.

Trying to get this compress bandage off is a slow go. There is adhesive stuck to my girlie hares. So no fun. So lots of witch hazel. At this rate, might get it off next week.

It hurts, so there.

Don’t know about you, but I’m waiting for the final results and tally of Richard’s Birthday Auction. Every year I’m like… I can do this.

And then shit happens. Oh well. Congrats to the winners!!! so happy for all of you!

Have some Richard.

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My Zoe 2
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I’m sleepy…

18 Tuesday Aug 2020

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Yesterday, was not a good day. I had plans. I had felt pretty minor okay Sunday. Pushed the point.

Paid for it with my energy.

Didn’t sleep well, for starters. Ended up taking 3 naps during the day. Big ones. Get up exhausted. Needless to say, my plans – soak my bloody jammies – didn’t happen. Taking another long ass shower and removing the bandage from my hoo ha didn’t happen! Calling my doctor for meds didn’t happen. Nothing happened, except I slept or snoozed.

Sometime in the evening, my feet took to ice and Spawn put my socks on for me. my feet were so swollen, they cut the circulation off and I had to take them off. I ended up in bed with my feet up. Trying to figure out what did that? I’ve been drinking a lot was juice, water. All I can come up with is the chicken noodle soup isn’t low sodium. I don’t know. The crackers.

I desperately needed 8 hours of sleep last night, but all I got was around 4.5. Might have had to do something with the 3 hour nap I took at 7 PM.

The bruising is much worse. I don’t get it. My arms haven’t been shot up since a week ago last Friday. No tummy shots in 5 days… I look like a ‘peaceful protester’ got a hold of me. If that offends you, kiss my ass.

And so it goes.

Praying today will be better. Spawn has to go pick up meds. Considering the trip, he’ll be gone a little over 2 hours. Pray for him. I’m wearing him out. He waits on me hand and foot, leaves the bedroom doors open so in case I need him in the middle of the night, he’ll hear me. He hears me cough in my sleep and comes to check. What did I do to deserve him? I’m such a grumpy old soul.

Really ugly pictures behind the cut. Excuse my messy desk and floor area. I need a trashcan. Obviously.

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#2020RABirthdayAuctions Now OPEN

17 Monday Aug 2020

Posted by zeesmuse in Uncategorized

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And it begins!!!

Guylty Pleasure

It’s time to get the party started!

Five days from now will be Richard’s 49th birthday. And before the milestone birthday happens next year, let’s send him off with a big bang into his 50th year. What better than a big donation to charity that reflects our appreciation of this masterful actor, lovely guy and handsome man? In his words: “I think of the potential that your collective generosity could provide for those who have much less than I do.” The birthday auctions 2020 will do just that: they combine our efforts into a collective donation that will benefit LOROS, a hospice care provider in the Leicester area, which is close to Richard’s heart. I am confident that this is not only a very worthy cause – but also a gift that will find Richard’s approval. And even if it only reaches as far as our small group of…

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