I went to my doctor earlier today. He has diagnosed me with bronchitis, RX’d me the meds the quack at the minute clinic refused to give me and then told me to stay home until Thursday earliest. I’m out of sick days, I’m short over 360.00 because one of my kiddos decided they needed the funds more than I did and lifted it when I was breaking up a fight. We don’t know who. It’s going to be a blue blue Christmas in our household. But, we have each other and we have food and I’m okay with that. We’ll just sit around and watch movies and look at the lights on our trees. Or better yet, resurrect an old tradition we started when we were REALLY broke back in 2001 – each night, cruise a neighborhood and look at lights, with Christmas music playing. Spawn loved it and it was quiet time for the two of us to just be with each other and not let outside distractions bring us down. We focus on our blessings and we have plenty of those.

And, yes. I said TreeS. Plural. There was one in the attic from a previous tenant so we’re going to put it up and use it. God knows I have enough decorations and lights! And tree toppers! We’re going to celebrate the Reason for the Season and bypass the merchandising. Make it more real. And we’ll dig in our pockets and throw our change into the Red Kettle and bring the bell ringer some hot cocoa.

As a result, my Nanowrimo will not be completed this month. It will give me time to spend on it like I like because I actually like the characters and I want to flesh them out more. and make it  look like it was not written on a whim. Between the stomach virus, bronchitis, Thanksgiving, my principal passing away… It’s just… no. No. I’m run down and I’m getting ready to go into the craziest season for me and I’m NOT going to even get 2 weeks off. I’ll spend the first week of Christmas vacay, unpacking my room and setting it up. Which reminds me, I have to Pack it up. They are opening the school 2 Saturdays for 5 hours and I have TWO rooms to pack. I just can’t do all this.

To make it worse, Spawn is coming down with it.

Part of me KNOWS I just can’t and another part of me feels like a failure.

And now, the meds are taking over. I better clear off my bed.