If I am a woman and I prefer men, then I am oppressing women. 

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But never fear, if I prefer women, then I am oppressing men. 

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If I am a gay male and I won’t date a woman because she has a vagina, then I’m the lowest of the low.

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If I am a woman and am comfortable in my body (meaning I don’t desire to be a man) then I need serious counseling because NO ONE is happy with their sex and I mean NOBODY! 

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God forbid I prefer long and dark haired-blued eyed short men

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who like to fight or have a kingdom under the mountain

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Or who wrap small weapons in condoms and put them where the sun doesn’t shine.

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I’m scared to think if I like military men – what does that make me? 

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Men with beards.

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Men with stubble?

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What if I prefer clean shaven men? 

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What if I’m into biceps, naked torsos???

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What if…

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uhm… 

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yeah. That.

What if my preferences range to spies with hot bunsssss??? 

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You knew that was coming.

What if I prefer a man who can rock a suit?

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Look great casual? 

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Looks awesome in a mullet and guyliner? 

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curlz??? Can we just talk about curlz for a moment??? 

 

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(that also files under ‘smoulder’) 

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Puppy eyes? 

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Does she EVER shut up? 

Yes! She does and we rejoiced… 

One who likes to read love letters from me? 

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Smolder??? 

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Tall tall tall with legs that go to heaven??? 

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What if? According to the children on Tumblr, if I’m not open to screwing everything with at least one leg, there is something wrong with me. 

Well fine. There is something wrong with me. 

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Well, I beg to differ! There ain’t a dang thang wrong with me. So ya’ll get over it! 

I now have to take my car to Autozone – where she needs a new battery, an oil change and an air hose. Also a motor mount. 

And my kindle is missing. I fear I left it the school library yesterday in which I might not ever see it again. I hope it was found and I hope whoever found it didn’t look at the book I was reading.

Hot. 

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Yes babydoll, you do. You please me immensely and I hope that if the situation arose, I would please you. Because love makes the world go ’round….

 

and notice… I didn’t mention the speedos…